Back to work

I can't believe how fast 13 weeks have flown by. It seriously feels like it was just the other day when we brought Moira home from the hospital. The memory of those first few weeks has not yet faded for me. It was awfully tough because Moira was not ready to be in the real world yet, and I had no idea how to make her feel comfortable, safe, and secure.

We've come a long way since those crazy stressful days. I feel like we actually know what we're doing now. Well, that's not completely true. Some days I still don't feel like I know what I'm doing, but I think the difference is that I'm more willing to accept the fact that I don't know the answer sometimes. In fact, this experience of "not knowing" is the biggest lesson I've learned since becoming a mother. It is humbling to realize that your baby will love you even if you don't know the answer. I'm still a fan of being in control of a situation, but Moira has definitely helped me to let go...a little bit. Does this make sense to anybody? I hope so.

In some ways, it is easier for me to face going back to work because I can see how healthy and beautiful she is today. If she was having trouble with feeding or sleeping, I'd probably be more concerned. But she is a good little baby girl who eats regularly and likes sleeping soundly from about 10:30pm to 8am. It also helps to know that she'll be in good hands with my mom and Alan taking care of her during the week. And if I miss her, I should be able to come home at lunch, which will also hopefully ease the transition.

Of course I'm nervous about going back to work, but, to be perfectly honest, I think being back in the world of adults will probably be a good thing for me. I don't mind working most of the time, so everyone should cross their fingers, say a prayer, or send good thoughts our way that these first few weeks go smoothly.

Oh, and before I sign off, I should mention that the photo above was taken along with many others to celebrate Moira's 3-month mark. I wanted to see what it was like to go to a portrait studio, so we went. You can see from the photo that Moira was a bit perturbed by the whole experience (she takes after her father). But I love this picture because it shows what she's like normally--whenever she's a little bit unsure, she sticks her whole fist in her mouth!

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